Putting Off the Old Self, Walk in the New Life You Have in Christ

The title of this article was the transformational aim of the sermon I preached this past Sunday on Ephesians 4:17-32 at my home church, Pillar Church of Jacksonville. This article is what I call a “Cutting Room Floor” article. These are ideas or further helps that had to be cut from the sermon to keep it within the appropriate time for our church service.

The second paragraph of this passage contains a flurry of instructions about the things of our old life that we must put off and the new things that we are to walk in as Christians. I have grouped the instructions into 5 categories, and here I point you to what I saw in Ephesians 4, a Proverb on the same concept, and additional resources for further examination.

I encourage you to prayerfully ask the Lord, “Which of these are my current struggle(s)?” Ensure you read the passages and consider the additional resources in that area(s) specifically.

1. Falsehood and Truth

Ephesians 4:25. Paul instructs these Gentile believers to no longer walk in falsehood and lying, but instead to speak the truth to one another. As in all of these examples, these two things are inseparably linked. You cannot put away falsehood without embracing the truth, and you cannot embrace the truth without also putting away falsehood. Christians are those who love and walk in the truth.

Proverbs 6:12-19. Here we have a litany of truths about our words. Here we learn that crooked speech is for the “worthless person” and that God hates “a false witness who breathes out lies,” and “one who sows discord among brothers.”

Twelve Ways to Lie. Learn in this article Brad Hambrick’s articulations of all the ways that we lie to ourselves and others. This particular article is specifically in regards to sexual sin, but its applications are infinite. I trust that any genuine reader will learn of ways that have been deceiving themselves and others in at least one of these ways.

2. Anger

Ephesians 4:26-27. Paul is clear that anger is not sin in telling us to “be angry”. However, he is also clear that our human anger can very quickly lead us to sin. One of the practical helps he encourages is to address our anger quickly- “before the sun goes down”. Lastly, we learn that unprocessed anger gives the devil much opportunity for his evil schemes. We do well to get a handle on our anger, and to learn godly responses.

Proverbs 3:30. The reality is that most of our human anger is “for no reason”. Or to be more precise: for no valid reason. Most of our ruminations and vexation is just because someone else didn’t do what we thought they should or some situation didn’t pan out like we thought it should. This Proverb teaches us to move on from such things.

Proverbs 14:29-30. The biblical proverbs also tell us to be slow to anger and to avoid being hasty in such things. So often anger erupts in us a strong desire to do something now. But we would do well to learn ways to slow ourselves down, examine what is actually going on, gain understanding, and seek the Lord’s direction in what to do next.

Uprooting Anger. I have certainly been prone to anger in my life, and I found this book immensely helpful. I have also recommended it to many people, and I have used its principles to counsel others. It will provide you with biblical answers to examine and handle your anger in a godly way.

3. Work and Generosity

Ephesians 4:28. I love the logical connection of thought Paul gives us: stealing-work-generosity. Stealing is almost always a symptom of laziness and work-avoidance. Work is the solution. However, work that merely amasses money for myself leads me to stinginess and a lack of care for the needs around me. Generosity is the solution for that error. Beautiful.

Proverbs 18:9. This proverb shows us that being slack in our work puts us on the wrong side of good and evil. The person who is slack in his work is on the side of “him who destroys”. Perhaps, this more modern proverb is just a restatement of this biblical proverb: “Idle hands are the devil’s playground.” Get to work; get out there in the world and produce something worthwhile.

Every Good Endeavor: Connecting Your Work to God’s Work. Full disclosure: I have not yet read this book, and I rarely recommend a book I haven’t personally read and found helpful. However, I have read other books by Tim Keller and listened to many of his sermons. This particular book is currently on my “to read” shelf and I have had many friends that I trust recommend this book to me. Perhaps you can read it before me!

4. Words that Build Up

Ephesians 4:29-30. Paul cares a lot about the words that come out of the mouths of Christians. He writes about it regularly. Our words matter. Here we see two categories and a result. The categories: either your words will corrupt or they will build up. Those are the choices of which types of words we choose. What is the result? If we choose corrupting words- words that tear down- then we will grieve the Holy Spirit.

“Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This is NOT a biblical proverb. It is one that is likely to be heard on the playground of your local elementary school. Spoiler alert: it’s not true. Words hurt. They cut and wound us deeply. Use your words to build people up today.

Proverbs 10:19-21. The biblical proverbs address the importance of our words continually. What do we learn? In most situations, fewer words is better. “Whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” However, we can do good with our words as well: “The lips of the righteous feed many.” Ask the Lord for wisdom in how you use your words.

Proverbs. I have a project for you. Read the book of Proverbs over the next several days, and highlight each proverb about your words/the tongue. In my bible, I have little pictures I draw for various topics in Proverbs: a little picture of a tongue for words, a small stick figure for parenting, a big “A” for anger, a loaf of bread for gluttony/drunkenness… you get the idea. Instead of picking up a book about these topics, consider turning this biblical book of proverbs into a quick reference guide for godly wisdom that you can reference easily when you need wisdom on any of these topics.

5. Heart Postures for Division or Unity

Ephesians 4:31-32. Paul concludes this section with a significant list of heart postures and actions that either build up unity and mutual maturity or result in the opposite.

Here I recommend a few general resources for living well in Christian community in the context of a fallen world. Each of these books assumes that at some point along the way, you will sin against others and others will sin against you. I’m convinced each of these resources will help.

Peacemaking for Families. How do you confess your own sin? How do you confront someone else’s sin? What are the principles at play in each of these situations? Ken Sande will lead you well in these challenging topics with very practical principles and practices.

Making Sense of Forgiveness. Forgiveness is a complex topic. In Ephesians 4, Paul says very little. In this book, Brad Hambrick will walk you through the complexity of forgiveness in a fallen world helping you apply biblical principles in real life.

Navigating Destructive Relationships: 9 Steps Towards Healing. This is part of Hambrick’s Church-based Counseling series that is excellent. In this resource, he will walk you through a deliberate process of learning to navigate relationships that have reached the level of affecting all of your other relationships. It is amazingly helpful.

Don’t Turn Away

Thank you for reading (or skimming) to this point. I encourage you to take the next step and read the passages that you need to read and/or buy a book that I recommend. And then, when it comes in, pick it up and read it and work through the difficult things that are in front of you.

When it comes to the complexities of honoring Christ in our human relationships, it will be difficult. And our minds and our bodies like to avoid difficult. Like turning away from a gruesome car accident, you will be tempted to pretend everything is okay and move on.

God has better for you. He can encourage you, strengthen you, and provide you the light for your path for one more step. Just take one of those steps today.

I love you guys,

Brian O’Day

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