The things you need for Christian Adulting

When we’re growing up, we are continually frustrated that we don’t have more freedom. “Why can’t I do what I want?!”

But then, when we transition into adulthood, the freedom is almost overwhelming. Frankly, it can be paralyzing. Far too often, we prolong this transition for far too long.

My encouragement is this: Move towards adulting sooner than later. Even if you are a teenager living with your parents, you can start working on most of these things in preparation to launch. If you are living outside of your parents’ home, the time is now!

But I’m not merely concerned with you being an adult or even merely a productive member of society. What follows are the things that you need to adult in a God-honoring way- the things you need for Christian Adulting. I’m sure there are more, but these will certainly get you started.

A will to work. “And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done.” (Gen. 2:2 [ESV]) God is a God who works.

“The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.” (Gen. 2:15) The Lord places us in this world to work.

Work is a good thing from the Lord. The fall (Gen. 3), our flesh, and society are attempting to convince us that work is a bad thing and that the only value for work is to earn us more leisure time and money. But that is not the clear teaching of the Bible. The Bible teaches, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” (Col. 3:23-24)

You must learn to work.

Self-control. “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” (Prov. 25:28) Once you embrace a will to work, you will realize that there are more things to do in this life than you will ever have the time energy, or money to do. Therefore, you will need the ability to control yourself- you’re desires, your whims, your impulses… Everything about you needs to be brought under control.

The New Testament says the following regarding self-control:

• It is part of the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:23);
• It is the spirit God has given us (2 Tim. 1:7);
• Lack of it is in the list of ungodliness (2 Tim. 3:3);
• It is in the list of things older women are to teach younger women (Tit. 2:5);
• It is the only thing in the list of things that older men are to teach younger men (Tit. 2:6).

For Christian adulting, you need self-control.

A Prioritized Money Plan. Call it a budget, a spending plan, or Fred. No matter what you call it, you must:

• decide where your money will go, and
• prioritize (rank from most important to least important) every item

There’s the idea of “firstfruits” all throughout the Bible, especially in the law- the first 5 books. How will you give to the Lord and His work of your firstfruits if you are not prioritizing and planning your spending?

Be in charge of your money, or it will be in charge of you.

A Prioritized To Do List. Similar to the need to prioritize your spending, you must also prioritize your doing. Remember: You can’t do everything you want to do therefore, you must prioritize.

What do you need to do today? What’s most important? Then what?

Write it down, and work through it.

A few years ago, I shifted to a digital to do list (Todoist app on my phone and computer) and it has been very helpful. Whether you use an app or write the list on the back of your hand like I did in Middle School, get it done.

A Calendar. “Let your ‘yes’ be yes and your ‘no’ be no” (Jas. 5:12) Showing up when and where you have said that you will seems to be a real struggle for people transitioning into adulthood. I know I struggled with it.

You need to master this one- especially as a Christian. The concept in James (above) is one that Jesus said as well in Matt. 5:37.

To live out this biblical principle, you need a calendar that you reference and stick to. No one should have to send you a reminder text to show up when and where you have committed to show up.

If you need constant reminders from other people to carry out your commitments, you are a child. If you can keep your word, you are an adult.

(While we’re at it, go ahead and show up early. This habit will serve you well and timeliness really is part of living a disciplined life.)

Personally, I have moved this one exclusively digital as well. It’s amazing. I can sync it with my wife and my older kids; it will alert me to events when needed; I can set up recurring events; it’s on my laptop and my phone and my wife’s phone… I just can’t imagine going back to a written calendar- but if you stick to it, do what works for you!

A Place and Method to Store Important Things- Physical and Digital. How much time do you spend looking for that paper you need for that appointment? How often do you lose important papers? You need a place for things- both digitally and physically.

The test for whether or not you have a system that works is if you can quickly and easily retrieve it. Can you go get your birth certificate, social security card, and the title for your car in the next 5 minutes? If not, you need a better system.

Start at the Top and Work your way down. Perhaps this article feels a bit overwhelming. Or perhaps you’re doing pretty good with most of these and just need to tweak things this New Year.

Either way, my encouragement is to start from the top and work your way down. These flow into each other pretty well. As you build momentum on the first one, it will naturally flow into the next. You might be surprised how differently you can improve on these things as you get to work! (See? Start with the first one!)

I love you guys,

Brian O’Day

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