I get why people don’t like to go to funerals- many even go out of their way to avoid them. Funerals can be quite difficult on so many levels: Emotionally (Am I going to cry? Am I supposed to cry? What if I don’t cry?), Socially (How do I greet people? Can I be happy to see someone I haven’t seen in a while? What do we talk about?), Fashionally (What am I supposed to wear? Do I need to go shopping?)… and yes, Spiritually. Funerals are difficult.
But God, through the Preacher of Ecclesiastes, tells us this, “It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting…“ (Ecc. 7:2 [ESV])
Think about that sentence for a moment. Imagine today two people walk up to you simultaneously, each with an invitation: one to a party with lots of delicious food, and one to a funeral. Which are you more likely to choose?
I’m sure a lot of factors would weigh into this decision: Who is the funeral for? How close was I with the deceased? Who will be at this party? What type of food will be there? What else did I have planned today?
But the Preacher doesn’t concern himself with such details in his statement. He simply states that between the two choices, we should prefer the house of mourning.
And, he even tells us why, “…for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart“
Why is going to a house of mourning better than going to a house of feasting? Because death is the end of all mankind (that’s you, and that’s me), and the living (that’s us again) will lay it to heart.
We spend most of our lives avoiding thoughts about our own death- especially if we’re young. But God knows that there is a better path for us- a path where we choose to wrestle with the reality that one day we will die. It is good for us to ponder this ever-present reality.
My prayer for you as you ponder your life and death is that you end where the Preacher did, “The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.” (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14)
Ponder your life and death today. Turn to the Lord in that pondering. There is wisdom to be found.
Here are just a few recommendations on what to do to continue this thought process:
- Go to a funeral. You could go to one of a stranger- they’re usually public- there is probably one close to your home today or tomorrow. Better yet, go to the funeral of an acquaintance where you’re not expected (For example, your neighbor’s parent, your friend’s parent or grandparent, or the teacher in your kids’ school that you just never got around to meeting.)
- Read the book of Ecclesiastes in one sitting. It will take you ~45 minutes, and it will be well worth your time.
As you do these activities, ponder one simple question: What needs to change in my life? As you think about your own funeral, what needs to change about the path you are on toward that day?
I love you guys,
Brian O’Day
Brian O'Day 